Greetings

Synth mode

When I go to the shops (or just about anywhere, in general) I go into (what I call) my "Synth mode." It is more commonly called "masking." I call it "Synth mode" because of a T.V. series I used to watch. It was called Humans. In the series, the robots were called Synths. But I have virtually no emotion at all


It just happens, but I can switch it on and off. I feel it is my Aspergers' way of trying to protect me, like an invisible shield, from the over-whelming numbers of people that are around me and all of the noise assaulting my eardrums. It's not perfect, it doesn't always work, but it is very effective. But when I am in my "Synth mode" I feel like I am a spy, or a giant camera, and I am observing (and recording) everything that is going on around me. My "Synth mode" also makes me invisible, in a way. When my "Synth mode" is switched on, it makes my Asperger's "invisible". But it (my "Synth mode") can be very draining. When I get home, I usually don't want to have to go out again. But sometimes it is not avoidable. I just don't want to have to "people" when I get home. I just want to stay at home with my little Zoe and my radio and work on my eco-bricks. But some people don't seem to understand that. So my "Synth mode" gets reactivated. Until I go back home or the battery goes flat.
This is a photo I took of my Jack Russell, Zoe

Comments