A younger me.

 This was inspired by a question someone asked on Facebook. 

When I was much younger (I mean child and teenager ages) virtually nobody knew about Aspergers and Autism. So here along comes little me, a little child, who (unknown to every single person on the ENTIRE planet) is on the spectrum. I suppose, in a way, I was an "under-cover agent". Except everyone could see I was different. But they didn't know why I was different. And my parents got annoyed with me because of it.

My mom used to make my pyjammas, which was fine. Except I didn't like them. They were thick, heavy, shapeless and (above all else) they were itchy. I used to, mostly, play by myself. I used to play with my teddies and my other toys. I still have my teddies. When I played with my other toys, one of them usually died. When I was at Primary School, I didn't have many friends at my school. Even in my street, I was friends with the two (later, three) other girls up until a certain age. The oldest one didn't like me. I didn't realise it at the time, because I am an Aspie. I remember one particular day. I kept on going back to her house, wanting to go and play with her. I kept on being sent away by excuses. I was being told things like "She's not here." Or "She's busy." If they had just told me she doesn't want me there, that would have been better than lying to me. Yes, two of them did move away. But our friendship just drifted apart slowly. But my teddies (and my pets) were always there.

One of my mom's friends (who had only met me about 4 times) could tell that there was something different about me. But, unlike steriotypical Aspies, I wasn't very good at school. I was usually near the bottom of my class. But, at Primary School, there were about 44 other children in my class. And the workload was huge. It didn't help that some of the other children used to pick-on and tease me. When I switched schools, things slightly improved because the class was much smaller and the workload was half the amount. 

But then, like Barthandelus in Final Fantasy 13, High School happened.

I know these are cheetahs and not Barthandelus.

And along with an academic High School, came all of those challenges. And I still didn't have many friends and still wasn't at the top of my class in anything. But the classes were slightly smaller, so I had that going for me. And still nobody knew I had Aspergers. Even with all of my rituals, habits and obsessively rebuilding of puzzles and playing video games for hours and hours during the holidays.

Then I switched to yet another school. A non academic school. Finally I was doing very well at school. And, finally, my mom discovered I have Aspergers Syndrome. But that school shut down.

So I went to yet another school. A more academic school. So I didn't do as well there, but I was top of my class at something. I even got an award at prize giving! 🏆 And my mom told me that I might be an Aspie.